Wednesday, July 12, 2006
He loves me. We're getting married this year. I'm completly overwhelmed with joy, sadness, fear, frustration...joy...peace. The joy is obvious. Sadness because I'm leaving my childhood home. I'll only be a mile away, but it's the fact that I've never permanently lived anywhere else. There was always "home" to go home to. Home will be different now. Fear because of the decision I have made. I'm "afraid of the dark." I have no idea what to expect. Frustration because I don't feel like I'm moving fast enough in the wedding plans. I'm frustrated because of the scheduling difficulties. I'm frustrated because I know what I want, and have trouble finding it. But, I have peace. He loves me--and he waited to say so until God said it was okay. All will be fine. I trust my God to show me the important thing is not where we have the ceremony or whether we have a piano or an ensemble. I know that the only thing that really matters is that God introduced me to the most wonderful man. I am completely in love with him and marrying him is the only part that really matters to me. I don't want to get caught-up in the details of a "wedding." I understand that there are certain things that are expected at a wedding and there are certain things that I want, but those are not the important things. I have plenty of people I can call on to help, and I intend to do just that. But for now, I must go. Enjoy the rain.