Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Nothing, really

I don't have anything super profound today. Lots of stuff is changing. I wish it were all over but would last forever. How do I tell someone that I'm not interested in them.....but their friend? Am I really interested, or do I just realize that things are changing and want security?

Something new was suggested to me yesterday that I need to look into: the Transitions to Teaching class. I could come back here next fall and take this 18 hour class and get my teaching degree and have things like.....benefits, health insurance, marketability. All of these are good things. AND the person who gave the advice also offered to let me stay with her! Exciting stuff. I'm definitely going to examine THAT possibility! Of course, I won't NEED to do that if I could only find a good man! Hmm.....I should get working on that! (I'm really just kidding.)

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I like it when I get comments. Sometimes when I read the "anonymous" ones I try to imagine who left them. It's kinda weird to think that people whom I've never met are reading my stuff. I like it, though. It's wild.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

During Class....

During my Monday night class (C.S. Lewis: The Persuader) I often sit in my chair at the professor's home and write little tid bits that come to mind. Here are a few for your reading pleasure.

You are my every breath; You are my every thought. You are my every desire; You are my hope. My God is my every thing, the only one who matters to my heart. In the moonlight I follow the path and I speak with Him in words found only in the language of the heart. The path seems to disappear at times, but that is when I close my eyes and open the ears of my spirit to better hear the voice of my soul's lover. I close my eyes and fun after His voice calling to me out of the darkness.
The struggle for Joy and Happiness is Fleeting Agony.
The monster of Desire rears its ugly head in
the midst of Genuine Searching.
Are You still there to listen to my prayer's and calm my fears? You know what's in my heart and You know what will actually work and help. Teach me to give it all to You.
Show me how to make You smile.
"God"= all the beautiful and wonderful things and experiences
that could never hope to occur in one so limited as myself.
Intimate with Struggle
Deep Sorrow
Transcending Emotion
The Mortality of Innocence
Joy is Contagious
The Age of Heartlessness
Dysfunctionally Materialistic
Lifeless Joy
Depraved Success
Intelligently Ignorant
Continual Hope of the Morning
Sunset brings the Death of Hope
The Absence of Dream's Knowledge
Desperate Love
I am in bondage to Christ alone! No more will I serve another Master. For there is
no master better than the Lover of my Soul...
Jesus brings Meaning to Existence
Lonliness is a Monster in my soul...
In my Heart's Prison I am the keeper...only Christ has the key.
I hear the call of Him who loves me most. His voice is soft and sweet. He teaches birds to sing and hearts to rejoice--how can I help my answering? Would I evere consider hoping for the affections of another? No. No other can be worthy of me. He deserves my heart's every beat and my soul's every gasping breath.
Do I spend my life waiting for someone to may never appear? Or do I try to live in a manner which is pleasing to my Lord and Savior? If the former, I chase after a dream. If the latter, I will absolutely find the true and complete Joy only to be found in Christ. Would it make a difference if I saw the future? Would I live in a manner to reach the end fully, or would my selfishness get in the way? If I could see the future, my attitude would change to become consumed with trying to bring or change the unavoidable consequences of my ignorant actions. I don't want to see the future, so I must strive to live my life for God alone. Only in completely denying my own desires will I ever stand a chance to be completely enraptured with the beauty of Christ.
My Joy has yet to be discovered.
I have stepped over into the summer of my life.
Just when I find It, It leaves. It flees quickly to avoid capture.
The only thing I want, does not want to be wanted.
What's missing? A nameless thing haunts my heart's darkest places. It stays just out of my reach--beyond my grasp. Should I stop reaching for it?
If It be temptation, I must draw back my hand. If It be Christ, I
must begin running for all I'm worth to catch Him--though fail I may!
Well, visitors, I hope that you've enjoyed this installment of Amanda: Rated R. It's been fun. I hope I gave you something to ponder through this adventure. Next time=Quotes from The Essential Erasmus. Until then, sing "Jesus Loves Me" a lot!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

I'm sick......but I'm going on spring break anyway! You can't stop me! Gettysburg, Hershey, and D.C. here I come!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005


Now I'm sick. Spring break begins for me on Friday and I'm sick. Annie and I are visiting Gettysburg and Hershey, PA, and Washington, D.C. I plan to have a lot of fun while spending as little money as possible. It'll be an adventure. If I don't get better before that, it'll be a sick adventure.