My life seems to have completely changed during the time since my last posting. The group entered a singing contest in Tennessee and we won second place; the prize for which is radio exposure and promotion. This has changed me in that I now feel much more obligated than before to stay in Terre Haute and excel in this career.
My joy has been renewed! Camp did that for me these last two weeks. The lessons for the kids centered on God's Calling and I think I may have learned more for myself than what I taught.
I applied for a job as a teacher's assistant in a special needs classroom today. As far as I can tell, I have the job, but now I'm not entirely sure I want it. I really need the money and the benefits, but I'm not sure how ready I am to be with moderately challenged kids all day every day in a restricted environment. If there's one thing I've learned while living here, it's that proper discipline is hugely important to the proper development of all children.....and that becomes almost impossible when the child is autistic or has defects due to the mother's drug habit.
I called that other guy and told him I've found someone else......more or less. I have at least been reminded of how much I really am worth.
My joy was renewed, but has already slightly dwindled by the children today. I know it's bad when I can't even think of a song to sing until they're all upstairs in bed. Tomorrow is the first full day of school for them and I think the library and I have some catching up to do when the daddy gets home. I love my Lord so much and it hurts me the most when I can think of no joyous song to sing for Him. Perhaps tomorrow will be better?