Tuesday, October 05, 2004


Well, sometimes people surprise us again. "What's going on?" you ask. I'll tell you. The reason it hurts so much when friends are mean is because they know how to hurt us the deepest. And, being our friend, they should feel badly when they hurt us. But the deepest hurt anyone can do is to just not care that they hurt another. Even Judas was a friend. He felt so badly at betraying his friend that he killed himself. You may say that that's biblically inaccurate, but the last time I checked, the Bible didn't have any of Judas' motives in there, so I'm just going to speculate. He knew that no amount of apologizing could fix what he had done, so he killed himself. Anyway, this is not about Judas. It's not really about anyone specifically. It could be, but it isn't. This is merely an observation which was brought to my attention recently.

Just because I don't look like a trophy, that doesn't mean I don't want to be treated like one.
Just because I don't write you letters, that doesn't mean I don't like getting them.
Just because I call on the name of Jesus that doesn't mean that I don't need you too.
Just because I read people, that doesn't mean I want to be read.
Just because I would rather follow you, that doesn't mean I don't have opinions of my own.
Just because I love you, that doesn't mean that I demand you love me back.

What is it about people that they often demand from others what they themselves are not willing to do? Is it because we're all given different gifts and to expect me to have the same ones as the next person is rediculous, or is it something else? Do I expect those around me to be nice to each other because I try to be, or is it just because it's expected by society? Why is it that I find Tuesdays so difficult? Why is it that I'm starting to feel smothered again? Why is it that time is moving too fast too slowly? Why is it that I can never actually coherently put down all my thoughts?


Anonymous said...

Whoever said you dont look like a trophy? They were right, I've never seen a trophy with the combination of inner beauty and physical beauty that you posses :) roy

Anonymous said...

I don't think that i tell you enough how much i love you. I love you and admire you so much. You are one of my best friends and i cherish our friendship so much. I thank God everyday for you. I pray that our friendship will be the kind to stand the test of time. I seriously pray that you and I will be able to grow old next to eachother and have lunch at eachothers house. We will sit on our front porches and drink lemonade. We will watch eachothers children grow up and then watch the grandkids. I know i have totally planned our lives out. But i know that you are okay with it. hahaha i love you babygirl ~love Karri~