Thursday, October 21, 2004

What what?

So, in class today I was writing in my journal of sorts and wrote down a poem that I began last night when I couldn't sleep again. Disclaimer: This is only the very rough first copy and aimed at nobody in particular.

My love for you is as sure as that the ocean will touch the shore.
I love you more deeply than the words of Eros could describe.
The affection I hold for you is such that I lay awake at night to simply marvel at your existence.
I desire you as an artist desires a muse.
My promise to you is as that of a child who promises untold potential.
I trust you as an innocent trusts that the rain will come.
I love you as softly as the beat of a baby's heart in the throes of peaceful sleep.
My love for you is as pure as the red in the bow of God's after-the-rain promise.
...Even as I love you, know that Christ loves you infinitely more!
His love is MORE sure than the phases of the moon! For even the moon obeys His command!
His love reaches more deeply than temptation can ever reach!
His love for you is more truly blue than all the shades of the sky can ever hope to represent!
He desires your heart as a lover desires the heart of his beloved!
I love you, but I cannot see your heart.....Christ sees your black heart and loves you still! Though I love you for who you are and who you will be, Christ loves even who you were. For all that I love you, my love cannot compare with that of the soul's perfect lover--Christ.

And that's it, folks. That is basically what I wrote today in my early class during a moment of inspiration. What did I think about today? I thought about: how tired I am, how sick I feel, how much I like to have spare time and how little I really have, how stressed I am over my classes and unfinished projects, how much I need to go to the rec center, how much I love my friends, how I find Festival Chorus is supposed to consume more of my life than it does, how I actually like being a TA, how frustrated I can get over silly things in the classroom, how I wish I knew more about being a good stage-manager, and many other things which were clouded over due to my lack of good sleep.
I also thought about trust. Am I really willing to trust others? Can I trust others with even my heart anymore? I'm sure I can, but I think that I need to temper that trust with at least understanding that people are not perfect and I need to be ready to forgive the hurts that are sure to come...

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